The Stories We Tell Ourselves – March 1st, 2025

LEARN A LITTLE:

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

It’s a fact that we all tell stories to ourselves-all day. It’s how we interpret the things going on around us or happening to us. In fact, our stories shape our perspective of the world. In this month’s blog I’d like to share some thoughts on a specific type of story, scenario forecasting.

In this instance, we are imagining a particular sequence of events or possible course of action that hasn’t happened yet or might not happen. Often these scenarios involve risk and uncertainty. They have a plot, a setting and a projected method of dealing with a situation.

Most readers are probably familiar with the concept of “worst-case” or “best-case” scenario, but there is also another option-the “most likely scenario.” In the best-case scenario, we anticipate the positive or most favorable outcome, the one we identify as optimal given the circumstances. The worst-case scenario, on the other hand, anticipates the least favorite outcome, indeed the worst possible outcome. The most likely scenario generally imagines the future with respect to a wide range of possibilities or probabilities.

Let’s examine these three possible stories/scenarios from the vantage point of driving your car.

It’s early March in the Midwest, darkness has fallen and you’re driving home on a rural two-lane highway. Traffic is light. As you drive along, the warning light with an image of a tire comes up on your dashboard. You have an older model car, so there’s no indication regarding pounds of pressure. At that moment, you notice that there is an exit sign for a nearby town coming up in one mile.

1. A Possible Best-Case Scenario

You notice the warning light and tell yourself that you need to remember to get the light checked out and fixed tomorrow morning at your local garage. You continue to drive until the noise of the tire rim causes you to pull over.

2. A Worst-Case Scenario

You notice the warning light come one and immediately slow down, pull halfway off the highway, stop and switch on your turn signal. Your cell phone battery is dead, so you sit and hope a police car will come by. While you wait, you become fearful that you will need to buy a new set of tires. You wonder what a tow truck will cost since you think you forgot to put the spare tire in the trunk. And now you begin to wonder if you will freeze to death.

3. A Most Likely Scenario

You notice the warning light come on and reduce your speed. You say to yourself, “Hmm, the warning light just came on, but the car is traveling and steering all right, so I don’t think a tire ‘blew out.’ Perhaps I can make it to the exit and get off the highway. You exit the car since there is no traffic in sight and confirm that the tire still has air in it. You continue on.

Note: The motorist predicament example was purposely simplified to illustrate the range and implications of the three choice options for any given situation.

There’s no denying the impact of our personalities, world view, or life experiences on the type of stories or scenarios we tell ourselves—including whether or not we are typically pessimists or optimists, and the extent to which this also influences our behavior. Those people identified as “catastrophists” would, as you would expect, be inclined to worst-case scenarios. Anxiety can be a terrible thing. The example given was light-hearted, but such scenarios are developed in our personal lives in such important matters as health, relationships, or career success. And as you might expect, a same dynamic is present in political and budgetary debates as well.

REFLECT A LITTLE:

Small Acts of Leadership:

12 Intentional Behaviors That Lead to Big Impact

Shawn Hunter

(Routledge, 2016)

Shawn Hunter, president of Mindscaling, is a well-known consultant, conference speaker and author. I was particularly interested in this, his second book, Small Acts of Leadership, since he addresses intentional behavior that affects and strengthens personal and organizational leadership.

Some time ago, I was at a leadership conference for nonprofit organizational executives. After hearing the speaker share the news of state budget cuts, the CEO of one of the large organizations shouted out, “Someone needs to do something about that.” It was somewhat disheartening to hear so many other executives agree with him. Apparently, not recognizing the need to take personal responsibility for our lives is still thriving yet today.

I am a fan of taking personal responsibility and that is still another reason I enjoyed Small Acts of Leadership. It is an easy-to-read, fast-moving narrative, that shares the importance of paying attention to little things as a leader. The twelve competencies that are presented are not necessarily new, but when packaged together make for an interesting and inspiring read. Brief highlights from each of the twelve skill sets follow below.

1. Believe in Yourself

• “We know that the less we focus on comparisons the happier we will feel about ourselves, but we still can’t help ourselves.”
• “True, profound confidence comes from deep competence.”
• “Embracing adversity and challenge with a positive mindset is another way of saying that you trust yourself.”
• “It’s not laziness that holds us back, it’s an inability to overcome the fear of trying.”

2. Build Confidence

• “Seek small improvement one day at a time.” – John Wooden
• “Managers only create the circumstances and the opportunity for those they manage to do their best work.”
• “Waiting to talk isn’t listening. We should listen carefully.”
• “According to researcher Robert Hogan, 75 percent of adults today say the most stressful, most dreaded interactions they have at work are with their immediate boss.”

3. Introduce Challenge

• “A performance goal is an aspiration to perform well. A learning goal, in contrast, is an aspiration to learn something new or improve at a particular skill or task. Learning goals are hard to achieve.”
• “Companies, like individuals, have mindsets, and those mindsets can pervade the companies’ culture.”
• “Ultimately people view the company through the lens of the person they work for.”

4. Express Gratitude

• “Expressing gratitude for good work is critical for trust and well-being in ourselves and in our teams.”
• “Meaningful progress is our most powerful motivator.” – Amabile and Kramer
• “Kindness can be one of the most powerful and enduring gestures we can make to others.”
• “Expressing appreciation for someone in our life can change our whole outlook. Simply telling others how much we appreciate them will improve the way we feel.”

5. Fuel Curiosity

• “It’s far better to get advice from people who have actually experienced what you are contemplating.” – Daniel Gilbert
• “As work pressure builds to be more productive, our work environments increasingly stifle imagination.”
• “The exercise of conscientiously taking another’s perspective tends to elevate communication and openness to new ideas.”

6. Grant Autonomy

• “When we feel like we own much of what we do, we tend to take responsibility and really love our work.”
• “We learn by watching, but we learn faster by doing.”
• “Task invitations that are a stretch but that people might enjoy are invitations for excellence.”
• “It’s true that negative attitudes are contagious.” Dysktra

7. Strive for Authenticity

• “Recent studies show that a little more than half of us, at one time or another, experience periods of intense loneliness in our professional lives.”

• “For true excellence, quality of work, and quality of relationship, we must be wholly present and mindful.”

Note: In my opinion, this leadership dimension could be strengthened.

8. Be Fully Present

• “Our actions are visible reflections of our beliefs, and our actions are also statements to those around us.”

• “Slowing down, focusing, and becoming increasingly mindful and fully present is an important element in elevating our presence and effectiveness.”

• “Every decision is a statement.”

• “Every leader I’ve encountered who is described by peers and colleagues as ‘exceptional’ or ‘remarkable’ or ‘excellent’ lives his or her work life in a highly visible manner.”

  9. Inspire Others

• “One of the greatest predictors of effectiveness, happiness, and success in work is our capacity to inspire others.”

• “Inspiration is rooted in passion, in curiosity, and in our desire to live our lives to the fullest.”

• “We never know from whom the next big idea will come, but we’re unlikely to hear it if we aren’t listening.”

• “Energy accretion – How much people in the organization contribute to and accelerate the positive energy of those around them.”

  10. Clarify Roles

• “As leaders, our role is not only to lead but to be the glue that holds the team together.”

• “Role clarity in team environments were often the most overlooked characteristic in building high-performance teams.”

• “The people on our teams, in our organization, are the reason our companies exist at all.”

  11. Defy Convention

• “The culture of any organization is shaped by the worst behavior the leader is willing to tolerate.” – Gruener and Whitaker

• “It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking, than to think your way into a new way of acting.” – Sternins and Pascale

• “People want to do something right and be a part of something bigger than themselves.”

  12. Take a Break

• “How we spend our days is how we spend our life. If we learn to take breaks, our lives are likely to be longer, healthier, and more productive.”

• “There is clear empirical data showing that healthcare professionals make a higher number of errors when sleep-deprived.”

• “Nomophobia” is the irrational fear of being without your mobile phone or being unable to use your phone for some reason.”

• “To reduce stress and increase overall productivity, the optimal number of times to check email daily is three.”

• “The goal is no longer to be ‘in touch’ but to erase the possibility of ever being out of touch.” – Powers

Until next time,

Art

Cherry Hill Consulting Group – Cherry Hill Books and High Tide Press

are Visions of Trinity Foundation – 101 Hempstead Place, Joliet, IL 60433